To Hell In A Hospital
by 1983Sarah
Summary: Crack!fic. Totally rips on both Grey's Anatomy and Supernatural. There's Ruby and Cas along for the ride. As well as a certain dead character on both shows we all know and love. Enjoy, if you're into this sort of thing.


**_Author's Note: First off, this is a crack!fic…in which I show NO mercy. I love Supernatural, I even watch Grey's Anatomy. However, that does not mean I don't feel compelled to take shameless digs at them whenever the opportunity arises. The opportunity has arisen. I play around with the "reality" of the shows. You have been warned! :p_**

To Hell In a Hospital

*dark of night, somewhere on the road*

Dean: Sam, you gotta face the facts, you're a monster and I'm God's golden boy. *grins proudly*

Sam: Yeah, yeah, yeah, but at least I get the cool black colored eyes!

Dean: *grimaces* Sure whatever. *looks over to Ruby and Castiel in the back seats* So, what's up? Where are we heading?

*Cas and Ruby glare at each other*

Cas: I will tell you, Dean, but not with those two unholy ones around!

Ruby: Hey, watch it, or I'll show you unholy!

Dean: Cas, c'mon now, that's my brother, you can't call him names, only I get to do that!

Cas: Fine!

Ruby: *sticks out her tongue* See that!

Cas: Watch it or I'll smite thee!

Dean: *rolls eyes* Enough with the smiting and the demon blood, what's the final damn seal so I can gank the evil SOB and have it all done with and get Sammy to go to rehab?

Sam: No, no, no!

Dean: *points at Sam while looking at Castiel* See this! Demon blood not only makes him have powers, but he freakin' starts breaking into pop tunes too!

Cas: *sighs* Fine, but you're soooo mean Dean! So the dealio is that Lilith is gonna be at this, like, creepy old hospital with these insane interns. She's totally trying to take over the medical industry so when Lucifer rises no one can get help.

Dean: *winces* Must you speak like that? *shakes head* Never mind. Anyway, where is this hospital?

Cas and Ruby in unison: Seattle, Washington.

Dean: OK, we're almost there, just a few more hours of driving.

Ruby: You know, Sam and I, we could go there faster with our freaky demonic teleportation abilities!

Sam: Yeah, Dean, you need to have more faith in me and my abilities, they are here to stay, you know. And you haven't killed me so far, so…

Dean: *glares at Sam* Just because I put up with your creepy Star Trek abilities doesn't mean I won't lay a world of hurt on you!

Cas: SHUT UP! *he clicks his heals together and the Impala and all it's occupants are transported to a hospital in Seattle* We're heeeeeeeeeeeeerrreee!

Sam: Where the hell is here?

Ruby: Where Lilith is, of course. It's a haunted hospital and she's trying to get the ghost to cooperate with her to get the world to end in blood, you know, the usual.

Sam: Sounds just great. So, who should we contact?

Cas: Find the one called Stevens, there your answers shall be.

Dean: If you get any more cryptic, you'd be freakin' Yoda, you know that Cas? *Cas just shrugs*

*They all get out of the Impala. Dean walks up to the main desk and grins*

Dean: We're looking for Stevens.

Receptionist: Izzie? She's been admitted, total nut job.

Dean: Yes, we're…sanity counselors. We've come to evaluate her condition and hug.

*Sam steps on Dean's foot and flashes him the black eyes. Dean grimaces but continues on his quest to find the one called "Izzie Stevens", and eventually finds a pretty blond girl strapped down to a bed in a rubber room*

Dean: Are you Izzie?

Izzie: Yes, I am, you look strangely familiar…

Sam: He does?

Izzie: Actually, you BOTH do! Are you any relation to Denny? We were gonna get married and then he died after I cut his wire and then I cried for a month in the bathroom in a prom dress. It does things to a person. He's here now, you know!

*Sam, Dean, Castiel, and Ruby glance around the room. There sits a man that the presume is Denny, who flickers*

Dean: Son of a Bitch! He's a ghost! *He reaches for rocksalt gun in back of his pants*

Sam: Wait! He's our dad!

Dean: *does a double take* He IS dad. Sir, sir! Are you ok? How'd you get out of…wherever you were?

Denny/John: *looks at the Winchesters with a guarded expression* Do I know you?

Sam: You don't remember us? Really? After all the drill sergeant, take orders from you or else shit? Seriously? *Sam gets the "Hand of Ipecac" ready then remembers that only works on demons*

Denny/John: What? No, I'm Denny, in love with Izzie, I came back from the dead to make sweet, passionate love to her.

*Sam and Dean make a funny face*

Dean and Sam: EWWWWWWWW!

Dean: No, you're our dad! Warrior hunter, take no prisoners! You kick ass, just like the t-shirt says!

Ruby: Well, I knew we didn't get him.

Cas: Heaven rejected John Winchester as well. So I guess that left only…Seattle Grace Hospital.

*Izzie tries to get up off the bed she's strapped down to*

Izzie: Oh honey! Come here and give your sweet lil' angel a kiss.

Cas: *has pained expression* But I don't know the man, why would he kiss me?

Sam: *Smacks Cas upside the head* Cas, angel is a term of endearment, geez, get it right!

Sam: Ok, I'm a bit freaked out by this John/Denny situation, but we'll deal, we always do. So, now that we're here, what are we supposed to DO with the ghost of our dead father whom Lilith is after.

Ruby: Why, have him posses a person and then you drink their blood. It's got an extra boost of juice that'll make sure you not only can kill Lilith, but it will help Denny, er, John, get to a better place.

Denny/John: *vague look in his eyes* But I LIKE it here. There's free food, and women, and…

Sam: Oh, just shut it and possess that pretty blond over there.

Denny/John: Ok *jumps into body* *Sam proceeds to drink the blood of Izzie after having ripped HER IV out*

Dean: Now, this is just gross to me, and Cas, are you SURE that John'll be in a better place? Cause from where I'm sitting it doesn't looks so hot.

Cas: Oh, it's hot, Dean, very hot. But don't worry, you'll be with him soon.

Dean: Say what? *he gets a worried expression on his face*

Cas: Oh, I forgot to tell you. Sam's gonna be evil and powerful and the only way to stop him is for you to die and go to hell again. Your death will wake him up to his evil ways. Good luck, and Goodbye! *Cas disappears, as does Ruby, who waves* *Sam looks up with a reddish gleam in his eyes*

Dean: *Dean yells into the air* Freakin' angels! Always leaving when you need them the most! Glad Ruby's gone though.

Sam: Oh Dean, you know you're just standing in my way now. I got dad and the demons on my side. And you've got…junkless, humorless, angels.

Dean: Yeah, but you still hit like a girl. *Slow motion as the brothers start….bitch slapping each other!*

Sam: I'm right!

Dean: No, I'm right, you shouldn't drink blood, it's bad!

Sam: Na-uh!

Dean:Uh-huh!

*slapping continues*

*fade to black*

*end credits*


End file.
